University of Texas Austin

University of Texas Austin

University of Texas Austin 150 150 Fusion Ministries

It all began October 31st. My life was altered just slightly, but miraculously. I had no family when I came to UT. I stood alone and hopeless, but I know I was never alone. Over the last 21 days I grew closer to my new family rooted in Christ. I have never felt a love like this before. They have shown every single day that I am not alone, that a family does not have to be blood relations, but one based on Love. I gave up something I very dearly desired, but although I struggled without it, I realized that it was not important for the least bit, and that in all reality, the only thing I ever needed was God’s love. I realized that God Himself is my food and drink. I thank the Lord for His wisdom and for Hid reconstruction of my heart.

Definitely convicted me about whether I truly desire to see and know God. I was confronted by the reality that I’ve allowed so many other desires to crowd out my hunger for Jesus. Am I desperate for God? I realized that is the beginning. Also encouraged me to make some long-term lifestyle changes (eg. Not being enslaved to my phone) and removing the empty filler from my life.

 Launch night at UT

I started this fast not knowing what God was trying to tell me. Before I walked into these doors at 7pm, 11-21-11, I was still unsure of what His message to me was until 5 minutes ago, it hit me. I’ve been praying ut loud during the prayer times, but not outside of my little circle. I prayed for friends but never took those words out of IV Res. 5 minutes ago I have become aware of what I need to do, I need to put my words into action. I need to stop saying and asking for true strength to be able to talk about God in public and to friends who are non-believers, or whose faith is not as strong. I can do anything through Him and I just need to do it!

God has opened my eyes to the immediate calling of mission – something I didn’t think I was ready for but not I think I’m ready. He calls us to “GO!” I’ve never heard that voice more clearly and it has rooted intentionality and totally changed how I view my friendships in trying to glorify God in all my actions. With the power of the Holy Spirit, I’ve been able to study the Bible with my Korean international friend and have a conversation about sin and how Jesus clearly rescues us from it with my nominal Christian friend. God has given me a desire for my closest friends to be growing and hopefully through prayer, He will make that happen – all we have to do is ask!

Going into the 21 day fast, I didn’t really have anything in mind to fast from, other than facebook. I thought it wouldn’t be that hard, but it was!! Still God is so much greater. I think I didn’t really see how God is working in my life because of my pride. So, this past weekend, I went into it with a great spiritual boost. However, the devil is always there trying to pull you away. That is what happened to me. Things from my past life, depression, loveliness, family separation and the sexual sin of masturbation, attacked me in just 2 days. Once I finally realized this, I felt that I needed Him every single time of my life. I also realized that IV Res is there for me no matter what. The reason I’m in IV Res is because it is a place for me to be open and share. So I asked one of my executive leaders to talk to me and to pray for me. Which is frankly the first time I asked for help and he is just able to encourage me and to not be afraid to call or test him id I have any more problems.

I didn’t fast from anything, but God shook up my family. We thought my dad had had a heart attack, but he was fine. In the aftermath, my sister started asking questions she never would’ve asked before.

Through this fast God showed me over and over again how much I need Him. So many times my flesh won – so many times I willfully reached for the sweets, so many times I was not disciplined in the time I spent online, and each time there were pains of shame and resignation and defeat. But praise God that He does not accuse forever and that His Son did not die so I could live a life of guilt. With each “failure” God reminded me of my complete dependence on Him (a prayer He was answering that I did not even realize was being answered), and the freedom and peace that comes with humbly before God – acknowledging that I am nothing by sheer will power or self, but fully empowered by the forgiveness from Christ and following the God who says “I AM”.

God showed me the places of my life where I was really prideful. The main thing was that I didn’t want to lose my comfort in order to be used by Him. He showed me that the reasons why I never talked to people in my classes or talk to friends about Him was because I was putting my own desires before Him. On the last week of the fast, I was experiencing a lot of doubt about my place in our fellowship and I was just really becoming bogged down by the work of ministry. I was frustrated with my small group and other people, but then that Thursday in large group, through the message, God directly spoke to me and broke me of that. He also grew my heart for the freshmen girls in our group.

I’m trying to figure out what to do with my life, at least in the short term – deciding between ministry and engineering. In week one, God really convicted me of trying to control and micro-manage my future, relying more on earthly wisdom than on God. I against was humbled and recognized God’s sovereignty. Also, I told my dad I was thinking about working with Intervarsity. I expected things to go badly, but my dad was somewhat supportive and understood that he couldn’t get in the way of what Jesus may be leading me to. God’s working in me and in my dad!

During the first week of the fast, God showed me how much I had filled my life with idols. These idols had made a later of dirt and grime in my life that covered the worse problems underneath. Once He removed the top soil, God showed me my excessive amounts of pride, which caused and was the root of my jealousy, pride and anger. Throughout the second week, I struggled with this pride and with new idols that my flesh was desperately trying to satisfy itself with. God convicted me of these new idols, leading me to cut off additional sources of temptation. He then reminded me of how no matter what, I do to please Him, He still loves me unconditionally and that the cross should be where I find all of my joy and satisfaction. Throughout the final week of the fast, I desperately pleaded with and cried out to God to change my heart and help me to stop searching for new sources of satisfaction, knowing that I have already found the only thing that satisfies me completely, Christ.

God has been so good to me. I felt Him lay it on my heart to fast from texting, which is something really important to me. And I struggled with saying yes but I came to that all God wanted was my willing heart. The fast was definitely hard and different aspects and many things going in my life made it feel so scattered and question what God was doing through it. And yet through a friend at Echo, God used her to help me realize that even though it didn’t feel perfect or wasn’t as I necessarily planned, God was pleased. And that was just a huge thing God taught me was I don’t have to do things or this fast on my own – and things don’t have to fulfill my idea of what they’re supposed to be so present in control, and working in me. He showed me his abounding mercy and grace in so many situations. This fast really helped me to rely deeper on God and took away a strong appeal and pull of the world in my life to give me the time, attention and energy to give to God. God was so amazing and met me exactly where I was at – just like He’s done so many times in my life before – but in a fresh and really amazing way. I praise God for His presence and His love – He has grown me so much through this fast and I’m nothing but grateful and touched.

Entering the fast, I wasn’t quite sure what I got myself into. I chose to fast from media, but I had other major problems in my life as well. I had bitter resentment towards some people who had deeply wronged me. One thing that I began to notice was that I would be mad one day and then the next couple days, I would gradually forget about the pain. To me, it seemed like it was a passive experience. Moreover, as I looked back, God was working on me even though I was so blind at the time. God is so faithful to me. This is amazing because I didn’t know what God was trying to tell me until now.

During the fast, I was able to value the people closest to me more than ever. I also grew even closer to my mother. I started a job! It was pretty difficult to let go of social media, but it helped me to see that I needed to strengthen my personal relationship with Christ. I learned from people I didn’t think I would. God really moved and used other people to encourage me.

Throughout this semester I’ve been coming to the realization of God’s awesome power. Before the fast, I kept this to myself, but throughout my fast, a few of my friends cams up to me extremely burdened. I got the chance to encourage them to take initiative in their relationship to pray for those they were troubled with, and to pray to God for revelation on how to approach their situations. I also got to pray for tight there and got to see how He was giving them hope already, even just through my prayer. I would never have been bold enough to share this before.
Towards the beginning of the fast, I would find myself continually praying for others (even when just walking to classes) and also began to feel such a longing for God that it pained me internally. Even though that longing has faded, I’m encouraged to know that I CAN feel for God that way I CAN miss Him that immensely and want to come to that level of intimacy with Him again.

God is haling my relationship with my roommate which was really strained. We’ve committed to praying with each other every Sunday night. Also, God reminded me that He just wants me to fall more in love with Him and in the midst of this decision year to enjoy the process and not just look to the end decision.

God gave me the strength to text my brother loving words after 3 months of no contact and he responded! My prayer life has grown to be constant, intimate and life giving. New life/joy flowing  into my time on staff doing ministry.

God has spoken clearly to me. When I asked he answered. God’s voice is one which I want to delight in everyday. He has stirred more love for Him in my heart.

God showed up in so many ways and it was definitely out of his mercy and not my own doing because half the time I didn’t even realize that he was so actively loving and blessing me. Thank you, father! I prayed for breakthrough in future decisions and a couple days in, received a job offer at my first choice (also most unlikely and get an office) job. Also received so much freedom in understanding God’s love and sovereignty that ensured that I could work in freedom and not out of duty/obligation. I was humbled with love through talks with my roommates. Fighting shame with forgiveness and love! I saw my ministry pray and restored through prayer. I hosted an outreach and saw Jesus form amazing friendships as I served in the community. I hungered for Jesus and failed so much and yet still loved and redeemed!

God has shown me where my heart was at and that I was losing focus on him. YET, despite my short comings, he has given me one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. He let me know that in order to fully enjoy this wonderful gift, I must always, always put Him first.

God has changed my heart to seek Him in my times of need. I found myself going to many other things instead of Him, but with the fast, He taught me how good it is to go to Him in prayer for my needs. He has also shown me how much I used Him in ministry and that the things that He does are less through me than in spite of me. He has shown me therefore how desperately I need Him to work in my life and that I should always be seeking more.

This fast has showed me how far I am from being sold out for Jesus. He isn’t first in my life. This is something I want to have!

I know that I was far from perfect in keeping my fast, but God us merciful. And out of His mercy, He showed me over and over again the steadfastness of this love. One of my biggest struggles is identifying in Him (not my past, not as a victim of unfortunate circumstances), and He constantly reminded me during those 21 days – and still does – how much He loves me, whether through scripture, prayer, or people speaking into my life.

After dealing with a heaviness and just a strong spirit of oppression for the past couple of months, God delivered me from everything I was dealing with during the fast. He also revealed to me all the pride and idolatry that I was unaware that even allowed me to let the devil creep in so deeply into my life. God restored my joy and drew me to Him in a deeper way than I’ve ever experienced. Praise God!

God has really changed my heart since I have committed to be a servant to Him, I have understood what it means to truly love others the way God loves us. I know that I am not living this life for myself, but living it for God and giving Him everything. My relationship with Christ has grown and I strive to reach out to others.

God has just shown me how much I need Him and how I really can’t do it on my own. God is so gracious to forgive me and love me after sinning each and every time and not obeying his commands. He has also reconciled this one relationship I have had and provided healing.

He made me aware of how much I really attempt to know Him. He exposed the things I find important and made me realize how much time I spend doing nothing. I now recognize how much influence music has on my mood.

God has revealed to me a lot about His love and a lot about myself. Things that I need to take to Him to deal with and I’m thankful for that. Because of this I have decided to enter into another fast and continue seeking His love.

God was good to show me how trivially I was spending my time and how much more worthy was His goodness and presence. He grew my awareness of His presence in the small things and where I can make more room for Him.

God, thank you for revealing to me that You want me in many different ways. Thank you for showing me that I want to worship You in many different ways so that I can different sides of Your character.

We had our first Epilogue service yesterday and first outreach this past Saturday. We have over ten girls faithful and getting discipled and now actually ministering in class without me telling them to. This may not sound like much but a year ago I was the only student at our church and God has multiplied us. We don’t even have enough seat belts anymore! And our band is starting. We’ve written almost a full album with lyrics. Most of all, God has reminded me of the Genesis 15 promise. I believe us as a family of ministries will take over UT for Jesus.

Over the past 3 weeks, as I gave up the things that distracted me, I was able to find a new focus on God and ability to open myself to Him where I had previously been closed off and distracted. The greatest realization was through prayer I came to realize how prideful I have been and how I had never fully relied on God. Through prayer I am working to change that.

Thank you Jesus!
-strengthened relationship with Jesus and with my husband
-awareness of my flesh and ways it controls me
-waking up! (call from August 11)
-loss of 9 pounds! I felt hopeless about weight loss and after breakthrough with this fast (hormone therapy for cancer makes weight loss really hard)
-Honesty, tears, anger – You let me just be me and You loved me and stayed close
-You called me to this fast last spring and showed up. It happened! Lives were changed (including mine)

I got baptized on the final Sunday! Jesus has renewed our relationship and I can’t wait to grow in Him again.

When I began the fast, I asked God to finally help me forget a person that had hurt me in the past. Instead of helping me forget, God showed me that I had become so busy with my life I thought I had let go of those feelings but instead I just hid them. I hid so well I didn’t even see it. One day I realized that I still felt broken and hurt, and I felt upset and mad. God then showed me that I need to recognize feeling what hurts. He is still working in my heart and He is teaching me to trust Him.

God answered a prayer I’ve been making for a year for my brother. My brother has been walking away from God for the last few years and a big barrier was revealed last year. I’ve been praying for God to breakthrough and let him also allow me to share in his life. 7 days ago he texted me that he wanted to let me in his life. I know God is at work and I’m going to continue to pray and trust in this work in my brother.

God showed me how much I could be something to Him, I love God for His great race and love that He poured out grace. Being able to commit to Him, schoolwork and see Him deliver me when I seek to do His will.

The past 21 days have been truly a leaving experience. It was not the fast itself but rather it was what God revealed to me about myself things the devotionals as well as the people He placed in my life to speak to me. I learned to trust God with something I held dear, my academics and success. It was revealed that it had become an idol and a distraction from Him. Through the tough and thick of the semester and fast, I have been humbled, defined and made a progress in my walk. I am proud to be a work in progress.

Thank you Lord for showing me the damage caused by pride. Lord you have allowed me to see the shortcomings present in my own life. Lord I give myself to you Lord.

There’s so much work to be done in my spiritual life. Throughout the 21 days, every day was a new battle and I lost a majority of them. I’m searching for that relationship between myself and God. It seems lost right now and I’m looking for the will and motivation to pursue it. I am in need of time to find myself. I’m married to the world right now and I want to be broken. I want that sense of urgency because I don’t have it right now.

I thank God for the renewal that You put on my heart for You. I confess the ways I’ve allowed the distractions of sports, ESPN, tv, and internet to take precedent over You! Thank you Lord for Your healing hand! AMEN!

In this fast God has taught me so much on my dependence and reliance on Him. I need God so much no matter how much I think that I don’t. I’ve always lacked on intimate relationship of having quiet times, having a true hunger for the Bible, for a time to sit down and sit with Jesus. He has given me so much discipline and strength through this, bringing me closer to Him day by day. He has shown me little by little the truths that He has produced within me. I realize how much a life away from God hurts and all that I want is Him. I feel God waking in me and molding me and shaping me, changing my heart. I’m just excited for pursuing my relationship with Him leading me all the way.

Within these past 21 days, I’ve been able to see just how I’ve often used my time for the wrong reasons. Instead of filling my time for more of Him and giving God more of my attention, I became aware of how I used that extra time from fasting from Facebook to leisure activities. One main hobby that I started to focus more of my time on was ping pong. Not to say that it was living to exercise more, but I could see that I was sinning in that I chose to fill up Facebook with more worldly things. This really frustrated me to the point where I just felt even more of a disconnect with god rather than feeling more of His presence. There was distinctly a time when I felt overwhelmed with sadness for no particular reason. So rather than trying to go to God and to have my alone time with Him. And it was great. I was able to feel at peace afterward and the restlessness that I had also been feeling disappeared. So I praise God for revealing to me that it’s only through him that I can find peace and joy. And that I should turn to Him for comfort and happiness J

I didn’t do this fast formally but in my own ways, I have been changing my everyday schedule and mindset to reflect God. I have grown to understand Him in these past weeks in a clearer way that is so satisfying. Like a big chocolate bar given to a little kid. I want it, no matter what. I want God in my life no matter what. He revealed Himself to me in my time of anger and clogged feelings so beautifully and perfectly. I cried tears of pain, and God just wiped them from my cheeks, game me a hug, and said that it would be okay.

At the beginning of this fast, I was so excited and because I had never fasted voluntarily before. God has opened my eyes to all the time I was wasting doing pointless things, when I could be doing things that were beneficial to me and glorifying to Him. I have grown so much closer to Him through this fast, and in surrendering to His will for me I have become more open and understanding to that will. God has used me during this fast to reach out to several of my friends to start conversations on faith and He has given me a heart to love everyone that I meet. Praise Him!

I’ll admit that I wasn’t very good about daily devotionals, but what time I did give to God , He used to speak to me of His peace and love. He showed me that He isn’t surprised or disgusted by my sinful nature, He has already died for all of my sins, including my future sins. He doesn’t want me to overcome my laziness and lust so that I’ll be more presentable to Him, but because He loves me and He wants me to know His peace and rest. Realizing that actually encourages me to press on, to overcome. It helps me realize that my sin isn’t as overwhelming as it feels in the moment.

I didn’t really actively fast from anything, but God still worked in my heart and in my life. I have been struggling with the direction of my life ever since I graduated in May from Trinity University. I knew that God was calling me to stay in Austin, Tx for an intermediate time instead of immediately going to China to rejoin my missionary friends in ministry. I joined my dad in his nonprofit work, but it started moving a direction I didn’t like and I felt that maybe I only joined him out of convenience. During one day in the fast, my dad and I decided that my heart and true calling was not to work with him, but instead to get involved in campus ministries and start seeking the next step in my life whatever that is. I have been richly blessed over all these days, through thick and lots of thin. I have seen God’s provision beating down my pride, and grace despite my awkwardness. I can say a million other things because God’s love and grace abound and is changing me daily. I’m so thankful that in such a short time God has given me close Christian friends and true community despite myself.

The second Wednesday of the fast, God filled my heart. I felt His presence. It has been over a year since feeling God’s presence in me. This past Sunday was my first time back in the Lord’s sanctuary in over a year. While getting ready for church, I was so excited. I appreciate these past 21 day, showing me that being so involved in school, work, orgs, etc have been bigger/longer detours from my walk with Christ than my anger, hurt, pain ever were. I ask God to help me reprioritize my life. I’m nervous about the next 21 days to come and there after.

Spiritually, I feel as though I am in a dessert.  Going through days on end so unhappy. It’s difficult to be joyful and to be able to praise God. I realized today that I do not want to be captivated by God’s provisions, but to be fascinated by God and who He is. I need to be reminded of who Jesus is.

God has been speaking to me in brand new ways during this fast. Before these 21 days, I had never really felt like God had given me a crystal clear message that I knew was from Him. Through fasting and prayer, I asked Him to speak to me and give me reassurance amidst some issues that I had been dealing with. For the first time ever I really felt like God spoke to me directly through several signs that really comforted my heart and showed me that I need to be completely dependent on Him.

God has given me a lot of good friends and I am really thankful for that. In the 21 days, I have been going through a lot of struggles, challenging; but in the end, I have been able to go through all, thanks Lord. I know without Your power, I won’t be able to do it.

God has revealed to me pride and a judgmental spirit against others. Pride is wishing to look independent and wanting to keep myself all under control. A judgmental spirit against non-Christians and other Christians for their walk in Christ. Thanks to God for continuing to work in me and growing me in Him and revealing that I need to continue to endure against the trails of this world.

On the first day the Lord allowed me to show His love to another guy. I had been praying to be used more by Him and He gave me the opportunity. Today, the final day, the Lord set up a circumstance that allowed me to talk with a neighbor. I had been praying for her and for our relationship to increase. Gradually, the Lord has really just drawn me closer to Him. He also revealed how much of an idol food was in my life and He dealt with me considering that.

God gave me peace and contentment in a ministry situation that has been frustrating me and confusing me. There is a little clarity on it, but not fully. The biggest thing is my peace. God softened my heart for the needy around me – all the needy, but especially the elderly and disabled in my neighborhood. I’ve taken some initial steps to meet the elderly and need in my neighborhood and am mobilizing a servant team to help these people.

God has revealed to me that I do not need to rely on my own actions but that even when I am sinning, Christ is redeeming and forgiving me. This has freed me and grown my reliance on Him and intimacy with Him. He has shown more about what unconditional love means. He has helped me to turn to Him and repent more quickly from sin, turning back to Him. Just as I don’t have to rely on myself, I don’t have to judge God’s success based on what other people do but rather that God’s forgiving and redeeming them no matter what they do. He has reminded me that I should do the same.

Lord, thank you for these past 21 days. Thank you for showing me what humility is and what it looks like to be humbled in Your presence. I never really realized I had a lot of pride in my life before this. It was  something that I needed. I needed to be broken down, I needed for these walls that I’ve built up to be stripped down so that I could truly serve God in my full capacity.

God revealed deeper depths of my pride, especially spiritual pride. God showed me the beauty of giving my mornings to Him. Renewed understanding of the Gospel with conflict among roommates.

The Lord has used this fast to renew me in the goodness of God and that He always has provided for me. Also it has really showed me to refocus my prayers on others and not just myself.

I think that over the 21 Day Fast, I was able to focus more on God and not be so distracted over something as inconsequential as Facebook. I was able to develop closer relationships with people and I think I became more grateful for the things God has given me.


“My friend, Daniel, the one person in my life who I thought was never going to meet Jesus, told me 6 years ago he had a dream of a king on a white horse with an army of men with him, but the army had stopped before crossing a river because they were waiting for the king to come and lead them. This dream has recurred 3 times in the past years, and he shared it with me. I found a parallel image in Rev. 19 this weekend and sent it to Daniel. Then they met this week. I presented the Gospel and asked, “Are you following the King?” “Yes!” was his answer!”

“The first few days it was really hard, but I soon realized just how prideful and judgmental I can be. I was looking at my husband and wanting him to change, but I realized the problem is me ….. I need to change!”

“The fast has been freeing for me thus far.  I have enjoyed the community prayer.  I am fasting from, among other things, sports radio and searching sports updates on the internet.  It is so freeing not to have to feel like I always have to know what is happening in the sports world.  It has freed and uncluttered my mind to be able to be clear, which has allowed my spirit to be more focused on intercession for others and connecting with others.  Revive us Lord!”

“During our prayer meeting studentsstarted weeping for their lost friends, really sensed God’s heart for the lost on campus.”

“I felt a strong call to pray for and love the faculty on campus this past week, and also to press into good communication in my marriage.”

“Earlier in the year I was convicted of my pride and I was looking forward the fast because I knew the first week would address this. I was hit hard during the pride week. I realized that pride is the root of so many barriers in my life.”

“I found myself being proud about how I led the prayer meeting and God showed me it wasn’t about me but about him.”

“Life’s been great without FaceBook!”

“I’m learning to be OK with more silence and not to fill every moment. God is making me more aware.  Even in the middle of the night I woke up and prayed for my family and I had this huge sense of peace.”

“This short season of prayer has exposed a lot of fault lines in my heart: the way  I relate to people, the value I put on my work, and my dissatisfaction with my own life. In that place it has been much easier to cling to the God who destroys my idols and restores my soul. “

“I am so utterly amazed at how much God still loves me and is gracious to me though I so often choose to walk in pride. I thank God that through this fast He’s making me more aware of how I try to protect myself with pride. I do this so much with the people closest to me…God change me! Everyday I pray God will give me strength to obey Him and walk in humility daily in small and big things. FOR HIS GLORY”

“I had a great time with God Sunday morning. It seemed to take 7 days just to get the clutter out of my head. I feel more at rest and at peace by taking away some of my normal distractions.”

“I thought I had dealt with my issue of pride enough to say that it was no longer a problem, but oh was I mistaken. In this past week the Lord has revealed to me that there is still plenty of work to be done. I realized that I’ve allowed the things of the world to create a fear and anxiety great enough to cause doubt. Doubt that everything will be alright, doubt in knowing that the Lord will always provide and care that in order to restore my trust and get back on track with my walk with Christ, I have to trade in my independent heart for one that is dependent on Him for only He knows what is in store for me and at the end of the day His will be done and all I can do is give myself to Him and trust Him, trust that He will never leave me but guide me.

Lastly, what hit the hardest this week was the fact that my pride was preventing me from not only asking but accepting help from my community. What were kind gestures of the heart from others, I mistook for demonstrations of pity. I allowed my pride to interfere to the point where it created anger within me. I’m blessed to have a Father who was able to call me out on it and knock some sense into me. To allow me to understand that as a community through unity, a family of Christ, we are sent to help, serve and love one another. That these acts are not out of pity but of love and compassion for each other and that together we are here to help sustain and protect our family! It’s only been a week, but God’s already doing work, no procrastination in the revelations here and I can’t wait to see what’s to come in the next two weeks.”